The Grand Finale

Our curling season is done. And so are we.

Peter and I debated about whether to register for the Grand Mixed Bonspiel at our curling club. It was the last big event of the season, and the 50th anniversary of this particular event. Our weekend was free of other obligations. Plus, the big prize was a pair of red Muskoka chairs that would be perfect for our back yard. Why not sign up?

Because we are old, that’s why not! Playing 3 games in less than 24 hours is hard work. First you throw these big heavy rocks down the ice. And when you’re not doing that, you’re sweeping. Not like sweeping the kitchen floor – this is really Sweeping! And your boss is yelling “Hard, Harder, HARDER!!!”

We signed up anyway. How foolish is that? We would find out.

The first time that we felt we might have made a mistake was when we learned that we had been placed on 2 different draw times. Peter’s Friday game was at 7:30 pm, but mine was at 9:30 pm. This meant that I would be going to bed well past midnight, and Peter would have to sleep in a chair at the club waiting for me. Or I would have to drive home by myself in the dark. Both options were bad.

After we got that sorted out, we played our 7:30 Friday game, followed by drinks and chips – lots of chips. This was not going to be a healthy-eating weekend. On Saturday morning breakfast was served: doughnuts, muffins and coffee cake, with lots of coffee to drink. This meant a delay in the middle of the morning game while 7 curlers stood around waiting for me to go to the bathroom. How embarrassing.

Lunch was good: wraps with veggies on the side, along with more chips and cookies and alcohol. After that, Peter and I were ready for our afternoon naps. We searched around the club for some couches, but there weren’t even any comfy chairs. We tried out the prize Muskoka chairs and they were fine to sit in but, just as we nodded off, we heard he announcement that our afternoon game was about to begin. Slowly we lurched out of the chairs and shuffled our way onto the ice.

By the end of the afternoon game we were toast. But NO! Now we had to get changed into our sparkly clothes for the 50th Anniversary Celebration! Except Peter has no sparkly clothes and mine no longer fit. We put on non-curling pants and jackets and I stole a gold flower from one of the table decorations and attached it to my top. We were all set.

Next we were encouraged to participate in the raffle so, in support of the club, we bought 50 tickets and headed to the prize table. There were no useful items like heating pads, or pill boxes, or a visit to a podiatrist, so we ended up stuffing the tickets into bottles of exotic spirits, or tickets to more curling events; kind of hoping we wouldn’t win.

After we had used up all our tickets, we were served more chips and more drinks, while we waited for the dinner to begin. The food was delicious but it took a while to serve all 120 of us. The main course was followed by speeches thanking all the volunteers, and drawing for the prizes. Peter and I won nothing. By this time we had our elbows on the table, propping up our heads.

Then the host announced that dessert would be served; celebration cake with 2-inch thick icing. And the evening would continue with – dancing! We did manage to stuff down some cake but our old bodies were not up for dancing to “I will Survive” or rounds of “YMCA!”

It had been a great curling season with plenty of exercise and socializing, and a fun bonspiel to finish off. But it definitely was time for us to put away our brooms and go home. We need time to rest up for next year.

Sue