My Life As a Swinger

Aha – I caught your attention with that title, didn’t I? And you thought this was going to be a blog about old people!

I love to swing. On my new red swing from Lowe’s. When we moved from the country to the city, we bought some new backyard furniture. Richard, one of our helpful sons, helped us move the swing box from the car to the backyard. But it was raining and he escaped assembly duty. Then another helpful son, Greg, came to visit on a sunny day. He and his wife helped us assemble it, consulting the manual and matching up all the little numbers attached to each part, except that some of the numbers had fallen off and were stuck to other parts. With four university-educated people working on this, we managed to complete it in time for dinner – at midnight.

Life as a swinger is pretty predictable: coffee, a newspaper, and swinging at 8:00 am, wine, a novel, and swinging around 5:00 pm, hot chocolate, star-gazing, and swinging at bedtime. I am pretty good at the swinging life because this is not my first time. I had a brown one when we lived in the country, but it got a little rusty as swings do, after a life of rainstorms and summer heat. So when the moving van got full and we needed to give something up, I kissed the old guy good-bye.

Sometimes I fall asleep on my swing. But I have recently been a little careful because my husband Peter has been taking photos of me fast asleep, and posting them on facebook. At first people thought that my life was one long nap. Then one day he took a photo from the kitchen where he happened to be cooking, and now it’s worse. Now people think that I am napping while he is slaving over a hot stove! What a lazy wife, they say.

Once in a while Peter actually tries swinging too. But he has a different approach. He persuades his three-year-old grandson Ben into going with him and taking on the swing-pushing. Ben seems to love it, unaware that he is the victim of a child labour scam. He and our older granddaughter Agnes both get a kick out of the swing. Ben likes it because the back collapses and the swing turns into a bed. He has spent hours figuring out the mechanics of this and trying to do it in record time. “Now it’s a swing now it’s a bed now it’s a swing now it’s a bed.” Agnes swings with a little more creativity. “Let’s lie on this swing-bed Nana and tell each other stories.”

Occasionally people sit down and begin to tell me their troubles. Somehow the lull of the back-and-forth movement seems to calm them down. I have heard about financial woes, child-rearing, relationship issues and so on. I haven’t started taking notes or creating files yet, but I do occasionally suggest a second appointment. With wine.

Last week we went shopping at Lowe’s where there is still a floor-model of my swing on display. I saw a couple siting there, wondering if they should buy one. I debated about whether to tell them to go for it…this purchase would give their lives new meaning.

Even at seventy, we find life in the city is full of adventure.

Sue

PS: Last Tuesday, when I was taking a short break from city life, it seems the internet in my new location was also taking a break….sorry!