Winter has been with us for almost 3 months and not once in all that time have I written about Health. We seniors like to talk about our health often. But I have held off, partly because we have had lots of health-related material on TV, radio and in print, with the threat of the Coronavirus in the news at least hourly.
Despite my failure to report, there has been some activity in our lives. My husband Peter and I have both been pretty healthy so far but, after we moved to the city and got new doctors, we had to go through several tests to see if we were still alive.
For my first round, the doctor wanted me to do a bone density test. The equipment for this test is expensive and I was warned that I would be paying a $200 charge if I didn’t show up for my appointment on time. I checked google maps and found out that my trip to the diagnostic centre would be pretty short – north a bit and then east over a river, north a couple more blocks and then east again. Twenty minutes max.
As I began the drive north, my mind wandered somewhere else and I missed the first east turn. I continued north searching for another way to cross the river. Then I had to go farther east than planned, to get through some subway construction, all the time checking my watch. Then I turned south and landed in the middle of a road closure. Finally I turned west to make up for going too far east, still thinking of my lost $200. I arrived at the diagnostic centre just as the nurse was calling my name. Good thing she wasn’t testing for blood pressure!
Next, I was sent to a local clinic for both blood work and a bladder ultrasound. I booked the first appointment for 11:30 one morning. On the day before the appointments I was called and reminded not to eat or drink Anything before the blood test: no breakfast, not even coffee! Oh no, this would be a huge sacrifice! I hid under the covers until 11:00, then threw on my clothes and ran to the clinic.
Several vials of blood later, I was released from the first appointment, starving. The nurse told me to go and eat lunch and drink a LOT because I needed a full bladder for the ultrasound pictures. She laughingly suggest that a pint of beer might be good. So what else was I to do? I went to the pub next door and ordered a cheeseburger with large fries and a pint of Stella. After all that of course I needed to go to the bathroom. Badly.
Instead I went back to the clinic, settled myself onto the examining table for the picture taking, crossed my legs, and tried not to think about toilets. The technician came into the room, adjusted the camera and began pushing on my bladder! And pushing and pushing. And saying “Wow! These are Great Pictures!” Meanwhile I was squeezing my legs together, nearing the desperation point. Finally she released me and I bolted down the hall to the bathroom. Just in time.
I went back to my doctor for the test results; all positive. But those were the only tests the doctor wanted. Really? Nothing else? She didn’t want a colonoscopy or a mammogram? At first I was relieved not to have to go through all that cleaning and squeezing; then I began to think…why? Why don’t I need to have these tests any more? Is it that, at our age, nobody cares if we get some polyps?
Honestly, when it comes to our health, sometimes the best thing to do is just wash your hands and focus on being alive. Go ahead – go to a pub and order that cheeseburger.
PS No, there are No pictures of me being examined. Instead, a photo from one of our readers who admits she escapes each winter, to Montserrat.
5 thoughts on “Healthy Adventures”
Your romps on the journey to Health: that was funny, Sue. Wish I could tell funny stories about my misadventures with doctors beginning at age 23, when I had an acute gall bladder attack and was misdiagnosed with indigestion and sent home with Malox. When it came time for surgery, just for fun, the same doctor and my husband’s favourite butcher (he had a soccer knee) cut me in half, dug around for a hiatus hernia, and decided to take my healthy appendix out just because it was there. Really. There would be more challenges with doctors throughout my life, though I am as healthy as a horse. When I took my health into my control, my body thanked me. To be honest, my people have great genes. I am 67 as of a fee weeks ago. My goal in life is to die 1) without any medication along the way and 2) with minimal doctor visits.
So bravo to you.
I know what I have to do for my health: now for the self discipline to exercise, and to eat less.
Signing off as always with : be well.
Thanks Sue for another entertaining blog. You are so witty and great at incorporating items! Poor Martin trying to get out of To.! So far they are at least an hour late and hopefully they get going soon to enable them to make the connection in Antigua to here. I gather your weather was nasty last night—typical when deadlines have to be met. H. has heard they have just left the gate😀. 😀! Whoopee. They are now switching runways and 20 planes ahead waiting to take off. What a mess. Better get M’s birthday cake made for tonight🎂🎂 Sorry Sue but the powers that be say we are too old now for mammograms. Not so sure about the colonoscopies. Probably that too Makes one feel good doesn’t it?? Ha ha ! So I’ll just keep drinking my wine and Caesars and not worry. I’ll have to die of something my Mother always said so may as well enjoy it. Luv to both. Mxx Sent from my iPhone
Hi Sue. So entertaining and so true about health as a senior. But I do hope your tests all came back negative not positive!!
Nice read and chuckle.
Bravo! you are a great entertainer. I am sure many of us can relate to the ultrasound experience. We must count our blessing when all is good.