The Gold Chairs

When Peter and I decided to move to a smaller house in the city, we had to get rid of some furniture. It was a heart-wrenching task, giving away all those gorgeous couches and dressers that nobody else wanted. But, with a little arm twisting, we managed. Except for the gold chairs.

This set of 4 stackable chairs has been in the Iaboni family for decades. They may even be antiques. But boy are they ugly! They’re covered with a shag material in a mustard colour, not anywhere near gold, that was right in style during the 70’s. I would have disposed of them ages ago.

But those chairs have fans: Peter’s poker buddies Love those chairs. During their regular poker games, they can sit in them for up to 6 hours, betting and handing over quarters. I guess their butts get sore on wood chairs, so a long time ago they attached themselves to the ugly padded chairs. When it came time for us to move, the poker buddies got a say: “Take the gold chairs to the city!”

Now I wouldn’t ordinarily take advice about furniture from a bunch of guys who play cards and tell dirty jokes. But the poker buddies have been in Peter’s life for over 50 years. Their opinion carries weight. Plus, one time when they visited, one of them sat on a bench in the hall to put his boots on, and the bench crashed to the floor. The poker guy was not hurt but he was embarrassed. I have a lot of guilt over that bench. I need to provide decent seating for the poker buddies.

When our move was over and the pandemic hit, I was looking for projects to fill those long days and weeks and months with nothing much to do. The gold chairs came to mind. How about recovering them? During an opening up of stores during the summer, I visited a fabric shop and got some imitation black leather. It looked sturdy, it could be wiped off if some beer happened to spill, and it was masculine. I bought several yards. Then I went to a hardware store and purchased a staple gun. I was all set. Except…

I have to admit that I was rather nervous about starting this project. I could handle measuring and cutting the material. But the staple gun scared me. I procrastinated with lots of excuses: wait until after Thanksgiving, maybe following Christmas, how about after Easter? None of these excuses made any sense, since we weren’t having any big parties or celebrations, and certainly the poker buddies were not visiting either. But finally I had completed just about every other project I could think of. It was time to face the chairs.

I spread the fabric out on the floor, measured and cut. Then I tackled the staple gun. I carefully cut it out of its plastic packaging, and read the instructions: “Wear goggles. Use the safety catch. Watch out for flying debris.” This certainly was no comfort. Were the poker buddies really worth a life-altering injury?

I swallowed my fear, filled up the gun with staples, and began banging away. It was actually fun! And a lot speedier than sewing. I was on a roll. Bang, bang, bang went the staples. In no time at all I had one chair finished. And you can see the results below.

Peter sent this picture to his poker buddies. I waited impatiently for comments. I thought they would write back immediately and beg him to set up a game. Despite the pandemic, wouldn’t they be just desperate to try out my new black (fake) leather chairs? Apparently not. They want to wait till it’s safe. Imagine – I risked my life with that staple gun, and they are afraid of a few covid germs?

Well I guess nobody can blame them for that. So now I’m thinking of Plan B. Maybe the chairs can take on a new role – to make some money and fill in for Peter’s lack of poker winnings. If you are short of furniture, we have some black (fake) leather chairs for sale at a really good price.


Before and after…

PS If you have any pandemic projects to tell us about, send in a comment.

6 thoughts on “The Gold Chairs

  1. Sue, while some may applaud the execution of your Pandemic keep busy, make work plan, I must pre-warn: that (under) serious scrutiny, (actual bums in chairs) will reveal the deep-down, devious machinations of the re-upholstering plan. Said machinations Could be seen as an effort to put the proverbial kibosh on Peter’s poker pals’ plans to periodically pollute & purloin in perpetuity the family residence & take away Peter’s perfectly personal attentions!

    The former comfortable chair covering was a bearable, breathable, butt friendly fabric, which could effectively muffle or minimize any untoward, & unwanted bodily emanations. Said emanations would, (but, not be limited to) necessarily include both perspiratory and those of a more embarrassing noxious, gaseous nature. Comparatively speaking, newly applied faux leather covers will exacerbate emanations, (rather than afford the luxury of any auditory muffling) & the fabric’s non-permeability will promote, rather than prevent profuse posterior perspiration! Plus, the constant, comfort-seeking squirming of sweaty bottoms on the the new non-permeable fabric covering will be distracting. Particularly, to those that lady-luck has smiled upon, & while attempting to downplay a once-in-a- lifetime-bonanza of winning cards, huge tell-tale globules of stressful sweat 💦 will exude from poker-faced serious brows as none can be dissipated from perspiration-induced- squirming-bottoms, THRU THE NEW NON-PERMEABLE, NEWLY RE-UPHOLSTERED CHAIR FABRIC. Yes, er I’ll take the unfinished chair with no new fabric please!

    Moral: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it! & the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. 😂 😆 😝 DAvid

    Sent from my iPad



  2. So sorry to say Sue, but the old gold chairs look much warmer more/comfortable and more welcoming than the ill fitting plastic new ones. Maybe I will have lost a friend for voicing my opinion😂😂😂😂😂—-let me know!! Keep safe Moira.

    Sent from my iPhone



  3. I love the staple gun. Would not live without one. It is fun once you get the hang of it. Have recovered many things with the trusty gun. Congratulations on your first job. What is next????


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