Toilet Tomfoolery

Toilets are probably the best-used “appliance” in our homes. Which of you, dear readers, does not utilize this device at least once a day? And yet, according to recorded history, toilets have been rarely modified since they replaced outhouses back in the early 20th century.

Toilets still have basically the same design: a seat on a pedestal and a tank on the back that houses the same flushing mechanism. Well, you Can go to Japan and find the upscale model with all sorts of additional options. Check out the icons below to get a sense of your choices!

But I digress.

A couple of months ago our main floor toilet started making noises – kind of a grunt and a bit of a shake down below. Just to be clear: this was when nobody was using it! Peter brushed it off in his usual manner: “Just leave it. It’ll probably go away by itself.” In fact it got worse. Next thing, the water kept running every time we flushed. We had to reach inside the tank, push down on a round yellow disc, and hold it until the water stopped running. This can add to your water bill and seriously cut into your relaxation time!

Then another complication: when Peter was watering the garden, the toilet would start running too. Maybe it wanted attention because sometimes the pipes below would really start to shake and it felt like one might burst at any moment! Finally Peter gave in and said yes we should probably call a plumber. We tried to contact a couple of our go-to handymen but they were away. This was the Canada Day weekend and what plumber would want to deal with our little tragedy when he could be drinking beer at his cottage, paid for by previous customers?

So Peter got out a vice and shut off the water to the main toilet. I made a cute sign for the lid, saying “Don’t You Dare!” And we loaded up on toilet paper in the downstairs bathroom. This was all fine, lots of extra steps up and down, very healthy. Except at night. By the time we found the light switch to the stairs, made our way down, did our business and went back upstairs, we were wide awake! And then there were guests: “You want to use the What? Oh That Thing! Well you have to go downstairs. Sorry.”

Then we got sneaky and invited our daughter Jennifer, and son-in-law Richard for dinner. Richard knows a lot about a lot of things. Did he know about toilets? Yes he did! But he looked inside and said there were complications: the flapper thingy was a special make, installed with the toilet and difficult to replace, since the toilet was situated under the counter. Richard suggest we call a plumber. What a novel idea!

Unfortunately, this saga is not over. Stay tuned for more developments. Meanwhile, there is a porta-pottie at a construction site just down the road that is looking better and better all the time.

Sue